The weekend & the Bra incident

Warning to men who might read this--I talk about Bra's and the unfairness of having to wear one as a woman, especially a larger chested woman, such as myself.

So, Thursday was rehearsal, which went well. Friday was the wedding, which also went well. Only one minor hiccup. It's a long story that involved the music the bride would walk down to. Let's just say "Regulators" by Warren G was not what she had planned. It all worked out, however I felt like I was going to throw up for about 30 seconds. It was a combination of getting music late, mislabeled CD's, the DJ saying one CD was blank and no one double checking anything. Live and Learn, I guess. I was just upset for Kate. It will be a story to tell the grandkids. Everything else went great. There are a few vendors I would never recommend using again, but I won't call them out in this blog. I think I got to bed that night around 1am. Saturday, I laid on the couch with my feather down comforter for most of the day catching up on DVR stuff. Sunday, we went out for a little bit. I went to Dillard's w/ my mom to get her some Bra's. I figured while I was there I would try to find one or two, which is usually about all I can find at a time b/c my size is basically unheard of. When I entered Dillard's I was a 34DD (should be a 32 but they don't make that size in a DD b/c they assume if you are a DD you must be bigger around, please God do not torture anyone who is 32 inches around with a rack the size of DD's, it's just uncalled for). I tried on a 34DD and it was so small, my cup overfloweth, if you know what I mean. So I decided to let the lady measure me. I told my mom if the lady told me I was any bigger I would kill her. She proceeded to measure me and told me with a sheepish grin "I think we should try a triple D". GREAT!!! is all I could think. Shouldn't these things stop growing by now, I mean really. I've had them since I was about 10 or maybe even younger. That is 15 years of hauling around an extra, oh I'd say about 20 pounds at this point. If I cut them completely off, I'd be at my ideal weight or at least close. I usually were a form fitted bra with a liner (no one likes to see cold nipples). She brought me one and said "This is a 34G, that's the biggest size that comes in that type of bra, let's see how that works". A 34G!!!!!!! I didn't even know they made G's. Sadly b/c of the type of bra, it was once againing allowing the overfloweth thing to happen. She said she would bring me some bras but I might not like them, AKA old granny bras. I tried them on and they fit. I kind of felt like Madonna at first but my mom and husband assured me I didn't look like Madonna. The band is so wide and so are the straps. But I look rather perky, like I did in High School before evil, evil gravity took over. It's so depressing to be 25 years old and have saggy boobs. So there you have it, I'm a 34G. I would gladly lop off sections to give to my less chesty friends. They are always in the way. Can't sleep certain ways, can't golf right, have to buy large shirts to fit them when the rest of me is not a large, forget running without 2 sports bras, no strapless bras which means no cute little dresses or shirts, and those triangle bathing suits do not hold it all in. Ok, I'm done complaining. For all small chested women, just know it is not all it's cracked up to be.